A spectre is haunting the capitalist hyperstructure - the spectre of SYSTEM SHUTDOWN. Y2K is right around the corner and they've got a lot of work to do. Mission-critical computer systems are scheduled to fail, unlike clockwork, unless they figure out a viral solution fast fast fast. Heed my warning - you had better brace yourself for a severe shock, because they're not going to make it.

Crazy events are headed our way - events that will rock the planet and change the world permanently. Crazy things like 95% of the world's power going out, or like an election turnout of 1%. Governments and corporations toppling, food riots destroying cities, missiles poised to launch. Humanity as a quivering, sullen wreck - not destroyed, of course, but perched on the brink. From one perspective, a godawful disaster - after all, what use are people without MODERN TECHNOLOGY? We're helpless sheep without our refrigerators and Microsoft Office, right?

But any mature person would see the obvious flip side of the coin. The systems attacked by the Y2K bug will mostly be corporate and governmental systems - the very systems that have locked this world up and thrown away the key. This massive crash isn't going to be pretty, but it might be like the extraction of a rotting tooth - painful, but necessary in order to prevent further damange. In other words, perhaps Y2K provides us a chance for the healing process to finally begin in a world gone mad.

When a computer crashes, what do you do?

REBOOT.

We, the People of Flavor, declare that we have GOT to get our shit in order. We have a CRISIS ahead of us. We need to wake up and smell the bullshit. We need to see right through it, so we can build viable economic and social structures - structures that will survive the coming world transition from capitalism to TRUE FREEDOM. Unamerican Activities hopes to make this nation's promises of freedom REAL.

If you have a soul in this day and age, I can see that it's tormented. Too many marketing messages have been bombarding you. Too many times have you been taught to sit rather than speak. You're a wonderful person, yet nobody seems to care about your IDEAS! From birth, you've been trained to consume, consume, consume - yet the lion's share of your dollars subsidize the same system that conditioned you! You're probably valued more for your production capacity than for your POTENTIAL - is that not the stupidest thing you've ever heard? Our system is like ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag - overburdened and shitty in the first place!

SO WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT, PUNK? Self-negation and an accelerating descent into planetary despair... or REVOLUTION? What if I told you it could be accomplished without a drop of blood? WHAT IF I PROMISED YOU A REVOLUTION THAT WAS A FUCKING ***PARTY***? Would that be of interest to you?

Here's the scoop. I personally believe that the Y2K crisis is going to truly fuck shit up all over the world. North America is going to make it through faster than the others, if only because we've got a lot of skilled technical people with basic infrastructure (e.g. labs). Look, I've worked in the computer industry for several years, so I'm confident that my opinion is a prevailing opinion in the technical world. I've researched this shit.

Things are going to get a lot worse, fast, after the clock ticks onto January 1, 2000. All your dystopian nightmares are going to come true, in spades. A world spinning into chaos as lights go out around the globe. The Internet (based on Y2K-compatible Unix) survives, but the ancient, creaky systems that power most capitalist ventures CEASE TO EXIST. Like a neutron bomb, all will appear the same and yet be changed. Massive panic disabling all centralized structures leads to a natural state of anarchy.

And who better to thrive in a state of anarchy than an ANARCHIST? As an anarchist myself, I can say with supreme confidence that I WILL SURVIVE THE Y2K CRISIS. The goal of my organization - Unamerican Activities - is to show you how to survive yourself. Together, a new species will rise up from the ruins. That species is us - the innovators in this society, the FUTURIST YOUTH. It is always darkest before the dawn - and what a dawn we could construct, if only we could figure out how to work together!

Americans created the problem of the Y2K, and Americans will fix it. We've got the engineers, we've got the resources - before long, power will be restores. But let's not lose this opportunity to rebuild this society in favor of DREAMS, rather than dollars! Why go through hell if we can't glory in Heaven upon winning? We cannot halt the Y2K crisis, but we CAN figure out a way to turn this coming chaos into an era of MASSIVE POSITIVE CHANGE. If we can walk together, why can't we ROCK together?

DO YOU HEAR ME AMERICA?

Don't get me wrong. Americans have taught the world a lot of good things, too. We've given the world a DREAM - the dream of freedom, which everyone knows is the future for us all. We've given the world POWER - not just electrical power, but the POWER of SELF-DETERMINATION, the power to pursue happiness with the most powerful tools available (which of course Americans generally create). We are the land of HUMOR, of INNOVATION, of the FUTURE as religion. Hell, we even begat rock and roll and all its descendents! So many of the things that make modern life livable originated in this country. AMERICANS *ARE* SPECIAL, and that is the truth. We intend, of course, to make this specialness the default operating system for the next version of this nation.

AMERICA IS BROKEN. We have allowed our nation to fall apart. What the fuck is with this? A Congress full of assholes? A president without the BALLS to tell the truth? A media that is drenched with messages of self-hate, violence and BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT? No previous nation has taken the class game to such ridiculous heights. And whoever dreamed up the concept of MUSIC THAT SUCKS?! Talk about an American invention! Racism (no people on Earth is more skilfully repressed than Black folk in America), fucked-up republican economic and social concepts, industry out of control, the idea that Jesus represents a BRAND NAME?

Lucky for us, America is made of Lego's. Whatever is smashed can soon be rebuilt - and rebuilt in a different way. America is pure potential, and we can eliminate oppression if we so choose. WE NEED TO MAKE THAT CHOICE.

These cultural problems are harder to fix than some computer bug. Unfortunately, coupled with our natural ambition, these problems have been replicated worldwide. The strength of America's endorsement has given it a stranglehold on cultural innovation. Diversity is in danger of drowning in the wave of Yankee imperialism. While there are few problems with standardizing on things that enable smoother transactions - English as a second language, interchangable currency, technological standards, wisdom - Americans have taken it too far, and as such, much of the blame for the problems of the rest of the world lie with us. We need to solve these problems.

The list of American fuckups is thousands of bulletpoints long, and it's so pervasive and obvious that I don't need to create that list for you - it's in your face every day (depending on your demographic). Let's face it, folks, Americans need to clean up their act. Who better to enable this process than those who are cleaner than their surroundings?

THAT MEANS YOU. YOU are the person with the skills, guts and originality we need in order to build a world-class revolutionary organism. We need your help in ways too numerous to mention. THE WEB'S KILLER APP IS FUCKING REVOLUTION. The Internet is the bomb, we are the fuse, you are the lighter. LET'S BLOW UP THE HEADS OF TODAY'S YOUTH!

We can only offer you a better world in exchange for your efforts. But don't dismiss that promise as mush! A better world starts, of course, with better friends, better lovers, better employment for YOU! This isn't charity work - we will repay you with the PUREST, MOST LUSCIOUS, ORGASMIC JOY THERE IS - the feeling of VICTORY OVER HORSESHIT. This joy will be the coin of the new realm, and you're a part of it.

If we had five thousand like you, we'd be able to change the course of history. Without this effort, humanity faces millenia of imperfection - or instant annihilation, as the case may be. WITH THIS EFFORT WE WILL REACH THE STARS. Join us.

Contact Unamerican Activities at http://www.unamerican.com to find out how you can help. (Thank you to our customers who have made this article possible!) Welcome to our community, comrade. Prepare to be amazed. I've got two words for you to take away from this:

REBOOT AMERICA.

If we are to make a new America out of this old one, we must use the Internet to create a subversive community with the heart and ideas to remake our government and economy. Unamerican Activities hopes to foster this community, and this is an invitation to join our campaign. We want a country that is conscious of its potential to really represent the will of its people, and with your help, we will represent that will.

Thank you for the time you took reading this, and please let us know how we can help you make your dreams a reality. Please email this manifesto to your friends and spread the word of our existence as far as you possibly can. A special thank you to the thousands of people who've bought our stickers and t-shirts and other stuff. Without your support, this project would not be possible.

I'll catch you on the flip side, folks. Later.
!!!srini